It's like i'm addicted to my boyfriend the more he insults me and hits me that more i need him.Help?!?

I've been dating this guy for year and 8 months.In the begging he seemed like OK guy.My father passed away when we were two months dating.While he was sick my boyfriend tried to get me out of my house so I was going out only with him.My father passed away he didnt even call those 4-5 days while i was in shock,although he knew what happened (his friends that live next to me told him), but i still needed him he was he only one that i talked that period.My friends were trying to be close to me but i was pushing them away.While i dated him i found out that he was dealing, when i find out i cried and i was mad at him, that period of time he was acting still in some way normal so he promised that he wont do that again and he never did that again.He had huge problems at home and i was also his support.He never wanted to go anywhere he sat only home one time when we had a walk in his neighbourhood one guy came and hit him my boyfriend told him to stop couple of times but the boy didnt so my bf lost his mind and started beating him in front of me, the boy was all in blood and couldnt move. We went at my bf's place i started crying, i was scared of that what i saw, he hugged me all night and expected that ill be acting like nothing happened.After a while he broke up with me,we fought a lot over his not going out and cold behaviour.I was very ambitious girl, also perfectionist that used to be treated like a queen before and he was problematic guy.I was in first year of university and i did ok, i was one of the best students as in high school because i was able to put my trauma of my fathers death aside.While he was one problematic guy that had no high school diploma and anger management problem.I never thought that he would rise a hand on me.I fell in love with him because i was too traumatised to let someone else in my life and to tell all over again the story about my fathers death to someone new.So i kept coming back at him,he was changing apartments because his parents couldnt pay the rent, he started insulting me, kicking me out of his house because i expected more of him and i was trying to make him do something with his life, he didnt work, he neighter cared about finishing high school.When he stopped fighting with his parents he became worse with me, we had great moments after he insulted me,after i cried,after all the abuse that he was putting me through.I started to lost my breath when we were fighting and also I started to not being able to control my self I cried loud and sometimes he didn't even cared i was laying on the floor.Couple of times his parents heard all that and because the weren't able to tell him anything he continued with his attitude.I tried to tell him that he has a problem but that wasnt anything new for him, he knew but he likes the control that he has by violence, other ways he is too scared to use.He has strange father that wasnt even working long period of time and for sure his mother never was intterested in my problems with her son because she had enough problems.One day my bf tried to choke me and she came in the room i started running away but i forgot my glasses and i had to come back so she made me stay i felt really sorry for her she was shaking also as i was, i had my panic attack but this time it passed away when he hugged me and also said just stop treating me that way.The problem was that i never treated him bad,I was always great with him :S. He had problems sometimes when i wasnt even mad he thought that i am acting like a ***** with him.The hitting continued and as the insults, he started to mention my father how he is ashamed of me that the guy that ***** me do not loves me and a thousands of more low punches.I always cried had my panic attacks and he still was the only one that could calm me down.Without him it I feel like piece of me is missing because he knows too much, how much i was hurt (my friends or my family never saw me vulnerable), he was the only one that could do that and still is doing.I have some things even now at his place he is treating me when i call him, he is also insulting me and im telling him constantly that he needs help and that makes him even more upset.I'm thinking of telling everything that he said to me to his mom. I dont know why but i feel that way, he treatens that he will hurt my mom (i know he wont do that) my mother doesnt even know that i was still with him because my sister knows how problemstic guy he is.Once i told my mum about him and he yelled and she was dissapointed, but still wanted to meet him.His phone was off that day i dont know why so my mum got the real impression of him, and never asked about him , nor i told her anything.I came couple of times in tears at home but i hide them good, also i was fighting with him on the phone he was insulting me and i couldn' hold my self from crying.I was the one that called him all the time,he had called me 5 times only although he said that he loved me a lot.