I wana know if im the problem in my marriage or if my reasons of acring the way i do an exception? ?

been married for 5yrs to a wonderful man, but he has done little things that I can't except and throught the years has made me loose control of my jealousy and insecureness. to make it short, he has never cheated. But he has done things in the past behind my back like watch porn, got on phone chat lines, and online chat, and has looked at girls and denies it. I lost his trust and he hasn't done it , wat he has done is looked every know and then but I'm traumatized now thinking Evey girl that passes he is looking I knw I over do it with that but I can help it. other thing is fantasy he wants a girl and me to hook up I'm so insecure of myself now that I I feel like I can't do it. Just anything that has to do with a girl causes a huge fight. My marriage is falling apart for my actions am I really wrong or do I have a right to feel that way??? if so how can I let go of how I feel and be the outgoing and fun wife he wants? that I knw I'm not I can't stand watching porn, going to strip club, or go to a club seeing all good looking girls and not think he checking them out when he's looking around, I can't even handle him talking to girls cuz I knw he has flirted and likes the attention! !!! wat can I do to save my marriage? ?