Why am i so scared of physical touch.?

Wow..I thought I really was the only one. I can't be intimate with people without drinking first. Until recently I shared an experience while I was basically sober, but now its made me have feelings for this person. I'm bi as well. But intimacy has really made it impossible for me to be intimate with anyone (I'm not talking about just sex) I mean I can't get close to people unless I really feel I can trust them, but then hooking up still isn't an option because I freeze up. Its extremely hard for me to keep going through liking people and then having to stop talking to them because I can't be intimate. And I'm really going through that now. I would really like if we could talk more. My email is katiej104@yahoo. Maybe we can exchange numbers? Btw I am not a creep lol! I promise. Just nice to hear someone else knows what I'm talking about